Warning! What you are about to read could be considered complaining, whining, and pessimistic...but there is a happy ending
What a bundle of emotions! This little one has already given me many "special experiences"--> (link). I feel that right now I'm working each day to keep my sanity. I know there are other women out there that have experienced the same feelings that I am feeling. Love, joy, happiness, sleep deprivation, avoidance of responsibilities, constant headaches, longing for a shower, wishing your husband would wash the dishes because he enjoys it not because you haven't for the last ___ days and it is beginning to be unsanitary, trying so hard to enjoy life's little moments but secretly hoping that your two and a half year old will potty train themselves, licking your teeth and wondering...hum when was the last time I brushed?
So, why do I enjoy being a girl? Because I got to grow up to be a mommy. I had a picnic with my two year old in the living room today when it rained. I get to be the recipient of an outpouring of love from my kids when maybe I haven't had the most pleasant feelings toward them lately. My husband rushed my wounded soul to the ultimate physician last night by taking me to ponder in the temple. I know my role as homemaker is ULTIMATELY important. Heavenly Father has put me in this family to love, nurture and teach. He knows I can do it. He knows I can do hard things. He knows I can fit sleep, exercise, breakfast, shower, hair, toothbrush, make-up, scripture study, dishes, crying (me and the kids), playtime, nursing, burping (the baby), reading stories, picking up the house, lunch, etc., into my 24 hours. He would have given me more hours in a day if he thought I needed it. He knows me and knows my eternal spirit. I am thankful for his sweet assurances that not only can I do what I am 'posed to, but I can do it happily. His plan is one that gives me hope. I know he sent me little Lucy to teach me something really good and that my weakness in caring for her will one day grow into a lasting bond between mother and daughter, so I gain hope through this period of my life where emotional stability is a luxury and rare commodity. There is only one way and that is through Christ and his teachings that will bring me happiness through trials. Selfless service, teaching, and loving were what his life was all about. And that is what I am trying to emulate as a mother. I know he helps me because we are on the same team.
For all of you who actually read all that- Congratulations! You just read my longest post ever!
I promise it gets better when they get older however taft is 11 months and is still getting up like 3 times in the night....grrrr...good luck with Lucy I hope her meds work. switch to paper thats what we did and it cuts back on the dishes a ton. seriously we use paper cups, plates, and silverware. lifesaver.
ReplyDeleteThis time will pass and your days will get easier. You'll have more good times then bad. Little Lucy will become more of a help and you will find that she is growing up too fast. Next thing you know you will find yourself wanting another baby so you can start it all over again. I know that may sound very unlikely now, but it will happen. Just be thankful for all the little things and you will find that everything else is just a small moment that will pass and all will be good once again.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post! Love the link-that was a wonderful talk. Parenting and being a mother is tough but you had a wonderful example and you seem to be doing a great job.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the insights to a hard but wonderful job!